The Game Of Limbo
by The-Cursed-Daughter
Summary: John died, or did he? When the newly-made ghost hears of a plot to kill Hellboy, how will he warn his friend in time? And what did Hellboy want to tell John before the agent died?.......John/HB
1. Chapter 1

_Okay, so I've decided to put some of my new OC stories on hold, and we're back in the John/HB category!!_

So review a lot, damnit!!

_Yeah! I've started the sequel to Golden Girl, (called Golden Age), and would really appreciate if you read it. For some reason, neither it nor Like Clockwork are appearing on the main Hellboy page, so you have to go to our account page to see them. But please read those, it would really make our day._

And review this one too!

_**Warnings: Swearing**_

_**Disclaimers: We own nothing but Valdis and the plot.**_

* * *

John woke up and yawned, sitting up. He stretched; surprised that he wasn't sore from last night, especially after that giant demon slammed him into a metal crate. In fact, he didn't even remember getting to bed. John shrugged, glancing at the time—8:00 am—and yelped, "Shit! Hellboy's gonna be waiting!"

The agent quickly got dressed and headed out into the hallway, hurrying to the kitchen. He was so wrapped up in the fact that he had slept late, he didn't notice that someone was in his way until he ran smack into Hellboy.

Red didn't even seem to notice the agent. John backed up and brushed off his suit. "Sorry Hellboy."

The demon didn't respond, and John repeated, "Hellboy, I said I was sorry." When Hellboy still didn't say anything, John put his hands on his hips—a gesture that would definitely get him ridiculed later—and said again, "Hellboy, I'm sorry!"

"C'mon Red, you can't just stand there like that."

John turned to see Abe and Liz walking down the hallway towards the demon. The fish-man added to what Liz had said. "Yes, you really need to cheer up."

Hellboy turned. "Oh yeah, you try it. How the hell can ya say that, 'specially after what happened yesterday! He's gone!"

John was already beginning to get sick of the joke—whatever it was. Even Abe and Liz were in on it. "Okay guys, this isn't funny. I'm standing right here and I......." he trailed off and his eyes widened. "Wait, _who's_ gone?" The agent reached out to tap Hellboy on the shoulder, and jerked back when his hand went right through the demon. The truth hit him like a pile of bricks. "What the hell....I'm _dead_?!"

"Bingo."

The agent whirled around and saw a girl—around sixteen years old—leaned up against the wall. She stood up straight and stretched, tucking a strand of her pitch black hair behind her ear. Her sparkling orange eyes glinted at him. "I'll give you props; it usually takes most people longer to figure it out." She extended a hand. "I'm Valdis. Nice to meet you."

Stunned, John shook her hand. "Valdis....isn't that the name of the Viking goddess of death?"

Valdis smiled in surprise. "Yeah."

The agent paused. "So, _you're_ the Grim Reaper?"

"Um, yeah. Look, are you going somewhere with this?"

John fiddled with his tie. "Isn't the Grim Reaper, y'know....a man? Or a skeleton of one?"

Valdis shrugged. "Stupid mortals; they're so stereotypical. But no, I'm a chick. My grandpa—Muerte—was the original Grim Reaper, but his joints are starting to creak, so I took over a few hundred years ago." The reaper glanced at her watch, which was actually an hourglass on a wrist strap. "Shit. We've gotta be going, otherwise Gramps is gonna have my ass."

John started out of his reverie. "Wait, what? But, how did I die? Where are we going?" Valdis made a gesture with her hand, and a portion of the wall swirled away into a purplish-green portal. "Come on. I'll explain on the way there."

The agent followed her into portal, surprised again to walking down what appeared to be a white hallway that stretched out forever. Valdis glanced up at him—John had several inches on her—and began explaining, "Last night you went out with Hellboy, Abraham Sapien, and Elizabeth Sherman on a mission assigned to you by a Mr. Thomas Manning, right?"

"Right."

The reaper continued, "What happened?"

John paused, trying to remember. "We were at the docks—some kind of aquatic entity came out of the Atlantic on a feeding frenzy. Hellboy cornered it and I tried to get it to turned around—the only way to kill it is to shoot it at the base of the head—and its tail slammed me into a metal crate......" John trailed off, and grimaced.

Valdis frowned. "Exactly. It broke your spine, killing you immediately." The girl pulled a book out of her black robes, flipping a few pages in. "John Thaddeus Meyers, middle name after your uncle—your mother's brother." She read some more in, and then smiled sheepishly at John. "Well, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"

"Um....the good news?" John wasn't sure he liked where this was going.

Valdis's smiled faltered a little. "The good news you aren't going to Hell."

John frowned; he most certainly wasn't expecting to go to Hell. "What's the bad news?" The Grim Reaper muttered something, and John leaned in closer. "What?"

"I said, you aren't going to Heaven either."

The agent's eyes widened. "What?! Why not?"

Valdis stopped as they hit a door that hadn't been there a moment ago, fishing a key out of her robes. "Gramps wasn't expecting for you to die last night, John, otherwise he would have updated the Book. We don't have a place for you yet."

The agent was taken aback. "You have to RSVP for Heaven?!"

The reaper grinned as she opened the door, leading into a bustling lobby, full of angels and some other...._things_.....hurrying around. Valdis signed in at the main desk and shared a few words with the four-eyed secretary before moving along to the elevator. John followed her and as the doors of the elevator closed behind them, she continued. "Something like that."

John couldn't understand why she was so calm about this. He was _dead_, for Christ's sake—and he was only twenty-three! "But if you weren't expecting me, couldn't you stick me back in my body?"

Valdis shook her head, her side-bangs dropping over her eyes. "We could, but it's already under ice at the BPRD morgue. The only thing we'd be doing in giving you an extra minute and a half to suffocate, and then we'd be stuck in the same boat."

The agent's head whirled. "Oh....well that's complicated."

Valdis snorted. "Tell me about it."

"So where are you sticking me now?" The elevator pinged, and John was relieved that it had been going up. Valdis moved to slide her ID card—_the Underworld is pretty modern,_ John noted—and the doors slid open. Valdis gestured out on what appeared to be a small city. "You're going to Limbo."

* * *

Review, and read Golden Girl and Like Clockwork! Oh, and Silence Is Golden!!

_Kit &_ Violet


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay, here's the next part. I'm still not feeling really good, so sorry it sucks. I've been writer-blocked lately._

REVIEWS MAKE WRITER'S BLOCK GO AWAY!!

_Yeah, they do. But people, seriously, I'm thinking of taking this story down._

_**Warnings: The usual and some horrible grammar (On purpose though!)**_

_**Disclaimers: We own nothing but the plot and Krysalis/Krissy.....and another OC later.**_

_BTW, something we forgot to mention, this is post-Hellboy2. So Johann is in the story, and Liz is pregnant, a let's just say that HB and John have already made up about HB shipping him off to Antarctica._

* * *

John's eyes widened as Valdis led him around Limbo. It was like a small city; all the buildings were round and made of a lavender-gray rock. "So who exactly lives here?" John asked as he and Valdis walked down the streets—that was another thing, no cars.

Valdis shrugged. "Lots of people; ghosts with unfinished business, spirits who don't want to go to Heaven—"

"There are people who don't want to go to Heaven?"

"Believe it or not. There are also souls that don't quite qualify to go to Heaven, but don't go to Hell either, and then there are surprise cases like yours."

"Limbo's a pretty big place," John noted, "There must be a lot of cases like mine."

"Hey, before you get all huffy, remember I'm counting everyone since the beginning of time. From every dimension, including the Otherlands."

The agent snorted. "Yeah, because dinosaurs were really complaining about dying at the wrong time. There were so many things they hadn't killed yet!"

The Grim Reaper laughed. "Yeah, yeah, smartass. You keep joking and I'll stick you in some rathole condo." She stopped in front of a small house with two stories, and checked her notebook. "Speaking of which, we're here. This is your new house."

Before the girl could say more, a phone began ringing, and Valdis fished it out. She scowled as she listened to the person on the other end. "......Yeah, Gramps. I'm with the Myers case........Mm-hm, yeah, just got John into his house........_John_ is Myers's first name, Gramps......._What?! _I thought you said _you_ were covering the plan crash in Memphis! You're not?.........What the hell, I have enough stuff to do............What, no Gramps............"

She sighed, and said, "Fine Gramps, see you later." Valdis closed the phone with a snap and turned to John. "There was this plane crash in Memphis, and Gramps can't cover for me. I gotta go."

The Grim Reaper handed John the keys and told him, "Those are the keys—they're un-loseable, by the way—and there's a map of Limbo on the table in the kitchen. I'll come and check on you in a few days." Valdis snapped her fingers and another portal appeared. Before she disappeared, she turned to John and winked. "Oh yeah, and John? Don't die."

The agent shook his head at the joke and turned the key to his house, walking in. It was fully furnished, with a kitchen, living room, and a bathroom downstairs. It even had a backyard!

A sudden rustling caught John's ear, and he turned, but didn't see anything. The rustling was behind him now, and when he whirled around again, there was no one there. John sighed; he turned again, but halfway through, he spun the opposite way and grabbed the intruder. "Gotcha!"

The culprit was a little girl, around five or six, with bright green hair, violet eyes and bluish-tinged skin. She looked up at John and grinned a toothy grin. John stepped back—the girl's teeth were sharpened to points and there were at least twenty more than she should have. The girl closed her mouth and shook the shocked agent's hand, wiggling it up and down like a puppet limb. "Hi! Krissy says hi!"

"Um, hi," John said, "Um, what are you?"

The girl wrinkled her nose and looked at the again. "Krissy's a Limban. What're you?"

The agent paused at this. What _was_ he? He wasn't alive, but not quite dead. He shrugged, and Krissy didn't look impressed. "You no know what you are? What kinda stupid are you?"

"Hey!" John defended, "I just died, but I don't know whether I'm going to Heaven or not! Give me a break!"

Krissy arched her little eyebrows. "You got infimished bidness back on Blue?"

"Blue?" John blinked in surprise. How did she know Abe?

The little girl-demon-_thing_ drew a big circle with her hands. "Blue. Y'know, the round thing where peoples are comin' from."

John snapped his fingers and smiled. "Oh, _Earth_! Do I have unfinished business on Earth?" He paused as his mind flicked to someone, but blushed and shook his head. "No, none."

Krissy didn't look like she believed him, instead shaking her head, her two lime green pigtails whipping around her face. "Liar. What's you name, liar?"

"John. John T Myers. What's yours?"

The little girl grinned. "Krissy's name is Krysalis, but most calls her Krissy." She paused for a moment and scratched her nose. "You wanna be friends, Jauntymuyers?"

The agent laughed, feeling.....well, feeling _normal_ for the first time since he had died. He patted Krissy on the head and nodded. "Sure! But, let's just stick to John."

* * *

Krissy watched her new friend stare off into space and huffed. That was all he ever did; just stare at the wall. Who cared about the stupid wall? It was a dumb color too, all purply-muck. The Limban stood up and waved a small hand in the ghost's face. Nothing. Krissy huffed again and patted John on the shoulder, shaking it back and forth. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Finally the little girl took the agent's hand and bit down.

John jumped as he felt sharp pain in his hands. "Hey—ow!" He glared at the little girl. "Krissy, what was that for?"

The Limban shrugged. "You was acting funny. You like da wall or sometin'?"

The agent sighed, he was being so obvious. "No, Krissy, I don't like the wall, I'm just homesick."

Krissy cocked her head to the side in confusion. "Ham-sick? You wants ta eat?"

"No, not ham-sick, _homesick_. I miss my home."

"Where was you from?"

"I lived in New Jersey."

Krysalis wrinkled her small nose, her dark blue freckles bunching together. "Never heard of it."

Sighing, John told her all about New Jersey and the BPRD and his job. He told her about Abe, Liz, Johann, even Manning. And then you told her about Hellboy, Red, The Big Ape, and how the agent had worked side by side with him. John hoped the little girl wouldn't notice how his voice caught when he talked about Hellboy, and she didn't seem to.

"I just wish I could see them again," the agent finished, sighing.

Krissy snorted. "'Course you can. Krissy can shows you where."

John brightened immediately. "Really?"

The little girl's eyes glinted with anticipation. "Yeah! Come on!"

* * *

An hour later, John was panting to keep up with Krissy as she hopped from rock to rock in the mountains on the outskirts of Limbo. What was funny was that John hadn't seen them before, but now as he was panting to keep up with the Limban, they were very real. "Krissy!" he breathed hard, "Hang on a minute, wait for me!"

The little girl stopped, cocking her head to the side. "We is here!!" she called in a sing-song voice.

It was a small cave, water dripping from the ceiling onto the ground. In the very back of the cave was a mirror sitting in the center of the wall, with runes carved around it. John swallowed thickly; this was his chance to see everyone again. He turned to Krissy. "So what do I do?"

She squinted to read the weathered runes, and then said, "You just step through it, and bamo, you're home in Jersey."

The agent took a deep breath and stepped forward.......

And nothing happened.

* * *

REVIEW DAMNIT!!

_Kit &_ Violet


	3. Chapter 3

Right, so here's the next one. Kit made this one uber interesting, so read and REVIEW!! Johann will show up in the next chapter, so those of you who were waiting for him, just wait a little longer, 'kay?

**Warnings: The usual, and intentional bad grammar**

**Disclaimers: Kit owns nothing but Krysalis, Valdis, Raykt and the plot.**

Oh and Rayky is pronounced RAY-CUT.

* * *

John stared at the mirror in unmasked shock, and then turned to Krissy. "What happened? Why didn't it work?"

The Limban frowned at the runes and traced them with her small hands. "Says here you gotta got a good reason to go back—like, you gotta be warnin' them or somethin'." She turned to John. "Does you have a good reason?"

The agent sighed. "No, I don't." He turned and walked off. "Guess I won't be seeing them anytime soon."

Krysalis hung behind him for a moment, thinking, and then ran after John, pulling his hand. "Waittup! Krissy has an idea! You can dream 'em!"

John sighed again; it was adorable that the little girl was trying to help, but it didn't seem that she quite understood. "Look Krissy, I'm glad that you're trying to help, but just thinking about them isn't going to allow me to visit them."

The girl sniffed injuredly. "Yeah t'will."

"Krissy—"

"NO!" the girl insisted, "You can! S'called mind-walking. You think 'bout them, and you can visit their dreams." She wiped her nose on the back of her hand. "But they gotta be asleep," she added, as if it weren't obvious.

John crouched down to the Limban's level. "Krissy, you aren't joking, right? I really can?"

"Yeah."

The agent checked his watch—Valdis had told him that Earth time and Limbo time were the same, so his watch was still accurate. "Great! So it's like.....six at night back in New Jersey. And Hellboy only goes to sleep at like.....ten." He sighed and glanced at Krissy. "It looks like we have a while to wait."

* * *

John wandered around the streets of Limbo, until nighttime. He was walking past a small park when he heard the whisperings.

"......stupid bastard, that Anung Un Rama......"

".......agreed, that traitor....."

John stopped and listened closer. Two Limbans were standing close together, muttering intently. One of them, a green-skinned demon, crossed his arms over his chest. "Anung Un Rama is a fucking traitor. He left and joined the _humans'_ side—can you imagine killing yer own brothers?"

The second one snickered. "Yeah, I can actually. I just killed my older one over a whore."

The green demon shot him a glare. "_Not_ what I meant. But anyway, did you hear? That demon Raykt has an excellent plan—it'll get rid of Un Rama for sure."

John paled and headed back to his house, breaking into a run. It was dark by the time he burst through his front door. Krissy jumped and hissed menacingly, unhooking her jaw to reveal a gaping jaw of pointy teeth before she realized who it was. She closed it and smiled sweetly. "Wasup?"

John put his hands on his knees as he panted. "Krissy, do you think that I can get to Hellboy? I've gotta warn him!"

Krysalis jumped up and skipped over to John. "Sure." She blew a bluish mist in his face, and John was out cold before he hit the ground.

* * *

John opened his eyes, and was surprised to find himself in a dark alley. A hissing echoed around him, and he yelped as a demon ran straight for him, running him through. Literally; it took John a moment to realize he was in a dream. The agent let out a victory shout, he had done it! "I'm back!"

A rough voice swore as heavy boots clunked around the corner. Hellboy ran into the alley, and John swallowed thickly. Hellboy froze, and before John could say anything, the demon groaned. "Oh shit, please no."

John was confused. "Hellboy, please, listen to me. I need to tell you something. I—"

The demon covered his face with one hand and turned away. "Go away, haven't you haunted me enough?"

"Hellboy, what are you talking about?"

Red whirled back around. "Yer dead!" he shouted, "Yer not really here! I don't wanna wake up and then figure out it was just a dream!" The demon turned and hurried off. The agent sighed, and felt the ground sway under his feet, finding himself floating around the hallways of the BPRD. Had he done something? The look on Hellboy's face had been......_terrified_.

Suddenly, classical music reached the agent's ears, and he turned the corner, into the study. Abe and Liz were sitting on the couches, anxious expressions on their faces. John sighed. "Oh thank God! Liz, Abe; Hellboy won't listen to me, and I need to tell you something. Back in Limbo—that's where I got sent to—some demons want to kill Hellboy. I don't know what they're going to do but they......"

John trailed off when he realized that they couldn't hear him. "Shit!" he groaned, "They're not asleep, so they can't hear me!"

All of a sudden Liz looked up, and John thought that she had heard him, but then she turned to Abe. "That was Red again. He's still shouting in his sleep."

Abe shook his head. "The big ape has been that way since John died. Poor thing."

"Yeah, he really misses John." Liz sighed, her shoulders shaking, "We all do."

The fish-man looked up. "But not as much as Hellboy, correct?" The fire-starter smiled, and tucked her legs under her. "You noticed too?"

Blue snorted. "He's easy."

John listened with interest. What did that mean, that Hellboy missed him more than the others? He shrugged his spectral shoulders; it was probably because he was his liaison. Suddenly Abe looked up, straight at the ghost, and John's hopes soared, but the icthyo-sapien shook his head. "I swear, sometimes it seems like John's still here."

_But I am!_ As soon as the agent thought that, the room began to flicker and fade, until he was looking up at the ceiling of his house in Limbo. Krissy was leaning over him, and hugged him as he sat up. "You're back! D'you warn them?"

John stood, the room spinning. "No! Red wouldn't listen to me, he ran off! And the others were awake!" He paced back and forth, Krissy trailing behind him, so close that he nearly plowed her over as he turned. She jumped up and down, her hair writhing as though it was alive—and it was, as the Limban had recently told John. "C'n Krissy help, John?"

The agent sighed and trudged into the kitchen and opened the fridge for the first time, pleasantly surprised that it was fully-stocked. He stopped as he was reaching for the milk and turned. "Wait, can I use the mirror? I have something to warn them, it has to work!"

The little girl yawned. "Maybe."

John laughed, but it was cut short as he started to yawn as well. He glanced at his watch. "How long was I out?"

"Two hours."

"Which would make it twelve." He turned and picked up the little girl. "We might as well sleep a little bit; otherwise by the time we get there I'll have forgotten what I want to tell Hellboy."

* * *

John stumbled along after Krissy, still rubbing sleep from his eyes. She had pulled him up at five, yanking him outside and skipping off to the mirror. He groaned, couldn't this have waited until he had gotten up? The agent swore as a rock speared his foot—he only had time to pull on sweatpants, a t-shirt and flip-flops—and smacked into Krissy as the Limban suddenly stopped. She turned around, oblivious to John's pain, and announced, "We're here! C'mon!"

John pulled the rock out of his shoe and followed after her, finding the little girl standing in front of the mirror, her hands pressed into the glass. The agent took a deep breath and smiled at Krissy, before he stepped through, the mirror sucking him in.

* * *

As he opened his eyes, finding himself in the BPRD's main hallway, John let out the breath he had been holding in. He looked up at the giant lifts, which hung high above his head, and nearly jumped out of his skin when someone shouted, "There you are!"

He turned, seeing Liz walking towards him. "There you are! What are you doing up so early?" John was about to respond, when a rough voice answered behind him, "Can't sleep."

John whirled around again to see Hellboy, groggily leaning against the doorway to one of the labs. Liz walked up to him, standing on her tiptoes to wrap an arm around the demon's shoulders. "This is the fifth time you've gotten up so early. What's wrong Red?"

Red sighed. "Nothin'. I just can't sleep."

The fire-starter shook her head. "Look, I know you miss John, but you can't let it get to you like this. It's ridiculous. You've got to go get some sleep."

John was shocked; Hellboy had gotten up earlier than nine? That seemed impossible, the demon slept like a log! He walked over to the two and frowned, before saying, "Hellboy, you idiot."

Suddenly Hellboy looked up, the motion jostling Liz's arm off his shoulder. The woman followed his gaze and her jaw dropped. "John?" she breathed.

The agent's eyes widened, and started to say something, but two things happened; first, he realized Hellboy and Liz weren't looking at him. And second, a voice that sounded exactly like his called out from behind him.

"Hey guys, did you miss me?"

* * *

Hellboy groaned as he hauled himself out of bed and glanced at the block-like red letters of his alarm clock; 6:13. The demon pulled on his customary pants and a shirt, opening the door to his room and trudging out into the hallway, wandering aimlessly. Eventually, he found himself in the main hall, and blinked. There was a fuzzy spot in his vision, like a patch of hot air was standing in the middle of the room. Red could almost make out _flip-flops_, and he mentally groaned; he didn't to deal with any ghosts right now. He shrugged, and then sighed quietly as he spotted Liz across the room. The fire-starter started towards him, admonishing quietly, "There you are! What are you doing up so early?"

"Can't sleep," he mumbled. Liz wrapped an arm around him, having to lean up, and he almost smiled at that. She sighed. "This is the fifth time you've gotten up so early. What's wrong Red?"

Red felt guilty, he could hear the worry in the woman's voice. She and Liz had been hovering over him since Boy Scout died, and he didn't want them to worry. "Nothin'. I just can't sleep."

He could tell she didn't believe him. Liz shook her head and said, "Look, I know you miss John, but you can't let it get to you like this. It's ridiculous. You've got to go get some sleep."

Why did she have to nail it on the first time? He missed John so much it hurt, and that fact that he couldn't ever see the kid again was too much. He hadn't been sleeping well lately, and didn't eat very much either. And that dream he had had last night.....it had been so _real_.

Suddenly, a rustling caught his ears and he looked up. Hellboy's eyes widened and Liz looked him to figure out what was wrong, before following his gaze. She gasped, and said the same thing he had been thinking. "John?"

Boy Scout stepped off the lift, and walked up to them, grinning. "Hey guys, did you miss me?"

* * *

REVIEW DAMNIT, OR I'LL TELL KIT TO HOLD OUT ON UPDATING!!!

Violet


	4. Chapter 4

REVIEW!!

_We don't want to tell you anything else.........okay, well I can't get mad at YOU guys; some of you are actually reviewing, unlike on some of my other stories._

Please review those, okay guys? Kit's been trying really hard, and she's sick too! We don't want our work to be for nothing!

_**Warnings: The usual.**_

_**Disclaimers: We own nothing but the plot, Krissy, Raykt and Valdis.**_

* * *

John watched in shock as an exact look-a-like stepped off of one of the lifts and walked up to Hellboy and Liz. The two seemed equally shocked, but what John found very surprising was that this John's image flickered. The ghost focused hard and stepped back in surprise—his copycat was actually a tall young man with blood-red hair and silver eyes. Suddenly, John remembered what he had heard back in Limbo—this must be Raykt, the demon who wanted Hellboy dead! John turned back to Red and Liz, but the fire-starter was hugging Raykt tightly.

"What are you doing here? How are you here? How are you alive?" Liz's questions came in a flurry. Raykt held up his hands, grinning. "Whoa, whoa, hang on a second Liz. One at a time; first, I'm back. Second, I came back. And third, I don't know. I just woke up in a coffin and freaked out. I don't even know how, but I got out and got a cab. And now I'm here."

Meanwhile, Hellboy was just standing slightly behind the other two, shell-shocked. Raykt turned to the demon and smiled. "What's up, Red? Do I need to pinch you or something?"

Hellboy looked up and grinned, "Boy Scout."

After a few more words were exchanged, Liz remembered why they were up in the first place, and forced Raykt and Hellboy to bed. As Raykt walked past John, he winked at the agent and whispered, "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

* * *

John woke up gasping, more than surprised to find he was back in his Limban house. Krissy snoozed next to him, waking up as he stirred. The girl blinked and yawned. "How'd it go? D'you warn 'em?"

The agent shook his head. "No! What I heard is already happening! Raykt is already on Earth, and he's stolen my body!"

Krissy made a face, her tiny nose wrinkling. "Ew. Was it all rotty and stuff? Krissy think rot is ick! There's this one rotty person that Krissy see-ed once, and he was all nasty and peel-y and ick!"

John couldn't help but smile. "No, it wasn't all rotty, it was perfectly normal—so normal that Liz and Hellboy bought it!" The agent snapped his fingers. "Abe! He'll be able to tell...." he trailed off, "Oh wait, it actually _is_ my body. Damnit!"

Krissy jumped up and waved her arms. "Krissy can do it! You can send Krissy, and she can tell 'em!"

The agent blinked. "You'd do that?"

The little girl shrugged and blushed. "'Course. And Krissy wants to see the Blue, too." John smiled and shook his head; he knew there had to be an ulterior motive. "Fine. Now listen carefully.........."

* * *

Hellboy grinned as he walked down the hall. John was back—the demon didn't know how, but he was _back_! It had been a few days, things had gone back to normal; it was almost like the agent had never been missing.

"Hey Red! What's up?"

The demon turned and his grin widened as he spotted John. The agent caught up to him and walked along next to him as they headed into the main hallway. Red shrugged. "Eh, nothin'. Manning's throwin' a fit again, the usual."

Boy Scout was about to reply, but voices got louder from across the hall.

"Hey, person? Are you Hellboy?"

"No! What the hell kind of question is that?!"

"Fine then. Hey, other person? Are _you_ Hellboy?"

"No. And what's a kid doing in here anyway?"

Hellboy looked up and saw a small girl with lime green hair and pale blue skin with dark blue freckles raced from agent to agent and asked them the same question. The demon gestured to the little girl. "Hey, pipsqueak! I'm Hellboy?"

The girl grinned. "Oh, Krissy thought so. Krissy's got somethin' to tell Hellboy."

"Who's Krissy?"

The girl frowned, and pointed to herself. "Krissy is Krissy! Jauntymuyers told me to tell you somethin'."

Red looked at Krissy in confusion. "Who the hell's that?" Suddenly John, who had been standing next to the demon the entire time, paled. He turned to Red. "This kid is probably just an ordinary little girl that's playing a game." The imposter took a step towards the girl, but Krissy hissed and unhitched her jaw, displaying her pointy teeth.

Hellboy gaped at her and then turned to John. "Ain't no way a little girl's got that many teeth."

Red looked down at Krissy. "Who's this Jauntymuyers character? I've never heard of 'im."

John put a hand on his shoulder and smiled. "Let me talk to her." He grabbed Krissy by the collar, and hauled her over to corner of the room. As soon as his back was turned to Hellboy, his eyes flashed silver and he hissed, "What the hell are you doing, you little brat? Who the fuck sent you?!"

Krissy stuck her tongue out at the demon. "The Jauntymuyers who's body you tooked! Give it back!"

Raykt smiled cheekily, and patted her on the head. "Oh sure, sweetheart. I'll give John his body back......as soon as I have Hellboy's head on a spike."

The Limban girl frowned and started to say something, but jumped in surprise and turned around as the lift started to come down. Abe, Liz and Manning joined them in the main room, watching as Johann made his way down. As soon as he stepped off the lift, Hellboy hollered, "Good to have ya back! It's been kinda lonely without yer German yammering! I guess the solo mission ended okay."

Johann seemed to smile and then turned to John. "It's good to have you back as vell. I vas beginning to vorry zat Hellboy vould never snap out of it."

The agent arched an eyebrow, struggling to figure who this person. Krissy smiled and thought, B_ecause the meany demon showed up afore this person-thing, he don't know who it is!_

Liz noticed John's pause and asked, "What's wrong? Don't you remember Johann?"

The imposter blinked and shook his head. "Oh, yeah, sorry. I had a memory lapse for a minute."

The fire-started arched an eyebrow, but didn't say anything, instead turning to Krissy. "It looks like I have too. Do I know you?"

Krissy shook her head. "No, but Krissy has to tell you something!"

"Who's Krissy?"

"She is," Hellboy told Liz.

The Limban nodded. "Yeah! Jauntymuyers told me to tell you something!"

Liz paused. "Jauntymuyers? You know, that almost sounds like...."

Suddenly, Raykt pinched Krissy hard, and she hiccupped, losing her grip on Earth. She disappeared with a pop, leaving a stunned room of agents behind. John shrugged. "Oh well. Must not have been that important."

* * *

John swore in frustration as Krissy told him what had happened. "What am I going to do?" he moaned, burying his head in his hands. Krissy patted him on the back forlornly. "Poor ghosty."

Suddenly, John's head snapped up. "Wait, Krissy, I'm a ghost, right?"

The Limban shrugged. "I dunno, is you?"

"Well, I sure hope so! And can't ghost, you know, possess people?" Krissy cocked her head in confusion, and John continued, "Take bodies over from the inside, kind of like Raykt—that meany—did?"

At this, Krissy nodded vigorously. "Yup! It's easy!"

"How?!"

"Well—"

Krissy was cut off and a green-purple portal opened in the living room wall. Valdis stepped through, glaring death—literally—at John. "What the hell do you think you're doing?! I leave you alone for a week, and I show up and find out that you're trying to possess someone?" She turned to Krissy. "And you! You're a Limban; a native! You're not even supposed by in Limbo limits!"

"It's not just anyone!" John argued, "Raykt—this demon out to kill Hellboy—took my body, and I have to warn the team!"

"You can't! Gramps would fucking murder me!" The Grim Reaper consulted her books. "There's nothing I can do about it."

"Valdis, please," John begged, "You have to let me, please! Come on, you know why I want to go back! _Please_." He lowered his voice. "I _have_ to tell him."

Valdis fidgeted, and then sighed. "Fine. Go warn him," she winked, "but do me a favor."

"Don't die?" John asked.

Valdis smiled. "How'd you know?"

* * *

**REVIEW, GODDAMNIT!!**

_Kit & _Violet


	5. Chapter 5

_Okay, sorry it took so long....it was partially because what I told you about in our bio (if you even read it), and also because I've been really busy/stressed/sick lately. It's just one of those years......I'll be sick all year and then I won't get sick at all for like......five years._

I'm so pissed you, Kit. And I'm jealous of your present.

_Oh yeah, for X-Mas, I got a Hellboy 2 collector's addition with a limited edition BPRD belt buckle._

And the robot I gave you.

_That I love!!! I already programmed it. How do you like you're present?_

Perfect! How did you know I like makeup?

_(Rolls eyes).......Lucky guess._

_**Warnings/Disclaimers: The usual, and we only own the plot, Raykt, Valdis, and Krissy.**_

_Oh, and yes, we know we were rambling about our own thing, but we've really stopped giving a damn._

* * *

The first thing John saw was darkness. Thick, heavy, palpable darkness, and he almost panicked. _Where the hell am I_, he said, surprised it came out as a thought.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

Suddenly, everything was illuminated, and John turned to see the red haired demon—Raykt—facing him with his arms crossed over his chest. Even though John was enraged to see the demon, the first thing his mouth blurted was, "Where are we?"

Raykt glared. "Where the hell do you think? You possessed yourself, didn't you? That means we're in your head!"

"But that isn't how it's supposed to work!" John exclaimed, "Don't the souls get pushed out when the body gets possessed?"

The demon laughed at John, smirking. "Yes, idiot, but not if you're possessing your own body! I stole this host first, so the only thing you pushed out is....well, nothing. Now it's a shared soul; you and I."

As John was about to answer, what looked like a giant TV screen flickered on, showing the BPRD main hall. The scene spread until John realized he was looking out of his own eyes—he was back!

But then his body moved without his consent, walking up to Manning and handing him some papers. "Here you go, Dr. Manning, I got the forms for you." Manning looked up and huffed, and John's body headed down a familiar course to the kitchen. _What's going on,_ John demanded,_ What are you doing!_

He could 'sense' Raykt's amused smirk. _Simple, I'm still in control; you're just a passenger in your own body._

_No! Get out!_

_Who's making me? You?_

Raykt went and got the cart of food from the chef and headed down to Hellboy's room. John's throat tightened at seeing the demon again, and Raykt opened the lock with ease, pushing the food in. "Hey Red! Food!"

A deep voice groaned from the bed. "I don't wanna get up."

Raykt laughed, and John grimaced as the demon's voice was exactly like his own. "Fine, then don't. If that's the case, I'll just take the food and eat it myself. All those pamcakes.....all _mine_."

Hellboy was out of the bed instantly, snatching the platter of pancakes in the blink of an eye. "Not on your life, Boy Scout." The demon set the plate down on the table, and gestured for Raykt to join him. But John could tell the demon seemed kind of nervous, almost hesitant today.

The two ate in silence, until Hellboy cleared his throat. "Hey, Boy Scout...?"

Raykt looked up. "Yeah?"

"Can I ask ya somethin'?"

The agent shrugged. "Sure. What's on your mind?"

The demon paused again and shrugged. "Nothin'. It doesn't matter." Raykt gave him a look, but then turned back to his food. John wondered what could be wrong with the demon; he was usually so talkative. The agent brightened; maybe Red knew that it wasn't really him!

_Don't count on it. If he knew, I would be dead by now._

John's spirit self frowned. _He'll figure it out soon, just watch._

Raykt laughed, his voice echoing in John's mind. _Keep dreaming._

While the two souls had been arguing, Hellboy had muttered something inaudible. Raykt's ears perked. "What?"

Hellboy turned an even deeper shade of red, almost bordering purple, and mumbled, "I said, I like ya."

Raykt was slightly surprised, but then he smiled. "Well, I like you too, Red. You, Liz and Abe are my best friends."

_I would never say 'best friends', _John quipped. _It's sappy._

_Shut your face._

Red, meanwhile, had kept his head down, turning even redder. "No, I mean I like _like_ you."

Suddenly, Raykt—seriously surprised—lost his control, and John was back. The agent's jaw dropped. "What?!"

"You 'eard me."

"But—I thought—But _Liz_ was—I—_You_—I thought.......?"

"You thought wrong. Surprise."

John smiled and opened his mouth, but then Raykt was back. The demon laughed, and Hellboy flinched. "That's _sick_, Red. I'm not gay." The agent stood and left, stepping out into the hallway.

* * *

John blinked and found himself back in the small room, watching his body walk through the screen. Raykt stood facing him, grinning wildly. "What the hell?!" John shouted, "Why did you do that?"

Raykt arched an eyebrow. "What the hell do you....." he trailed off and then laughed, "Oh my God. You actually love him! That's pathetic!"

"Why did you do that?! You hurt him!" John could feel tears start falling down his cheeks, and knew he was lost. He missed his chance.

The demon shrugged, running a hand through his hair. "Of course I did, dipshit. If he's broken mentally, it'll be easier to break him physically." He gave an exasperated sigh. "I'm out to kill him—do you think I care if I make him cry?"

Suddenly, John sent out a sharp mental jab, sending Raykt flying into the 'wall', and shoving his actually body into Abe, who happened to be walking down the hall.

Before John had the chance, Raykt was back at the controls, and John was back to riding passenger in his own body, helplessly seeing out of his own eyes. Raykt helped Abe up, saying, "Damn, sorry Abe. My head just spun and I felt really dizzy. I guess I lost my balance."

"Quite alright," Abe assured the agent. The fish-man put his hand on Raykt's shoulder as he pulled himself up, and then he gasped. Raykt arched his eyebrows. "You okay?"

Abe pulled himself up and stepped back. "Fine." Then he took off down the hall towards Liz's room. Raykt shrugged and headed on his way. John attempted to take control, but he couldn't anything to budge. He tried harder, and suddenly his arm flew up, hitting him in the face.

_Ow! What the hell was that?_

He could sense Raykt's smirk as the demon maneuvered his body towards the agent's room, saying a quick greeting to Clay before answering. _Couldn't help myself. Stop trying, John. It's pointless—and besides, I promise I'll give you back your body the minute I kill Hellboy. _

_You're lying._

Raykt shrugged John's shoulders as he opened the door to his room. _Yeah, actually, I am. _

_Why haven't you killed me yet? Why draw it out?_

_Because, it's not like you're a threat. And so long as you're here, you might as well suffer too._

John didn't answer.

* * *

Hellboy stared dejectedly at the floor as Abe dragged him into the study, barely hearing what the fish-man was saying. Suddenly, he stopped. "Red? Are you alright? You seemed sort of.......distant."

"'M fine."

Abe shrugged. "If you say so." They arrived at the study, and Hellboy sank into an armchair, vaguely noticing that Liz, Johann and Clay were also in the room. Liz glanced at Abe. "So why are we here?"

"Yes," Johann put in, "And vhere is John?"

Blue frowned. "That's the point!" The icthyo-sapien hurried to explain. "I was walking down the hall an hour ago, and John was walking the opposite way. But suddenly he slammed into me. As I got up, I put my hand on his shoulder, and he flickered."

"Flickered?" Clay asked.

"Yes, and then it was someone else entirely. So I looked a little harder and found it wasn't John at all! He's been possessed!"

"By what?!" Liz demanded, jumping up. "We have to help him!"

Abe held up his hands to calm her. "And we will. We just need to know what we're dealing with, or we might end up killing him on accident."

Clay glanced over at Hellboy, who sat staring at the floor. "Hey, Red, d'you hear or what? There some demon possessing John." When the agent didn't get a reaction, he waved his hand in front of the demon's face. "Hello? Red? Earth to Red, Earth to Red! Am I getting through?"

Liz sighed. "Let me." She walked up to the demon and yanked his hair, but even that didn't get him to react. The fire-starter gaped exasperatedly at Abe, who shrugged. Johann cleared his throat. "Ze sooner ve get to vork, Agent Hellboy, ze sooner ve can save John, and ze sooner you can tell him zat you love him."

That woke Hellboy up. "What? Says who?"

Liz and Clay scoffed. "Abe's right," the fire-starter told him, "You're easy." Liz sighed. "I could tell even when we were dating; that's why I broke things off with you."

Red gaped. "What?! And no one told me nothin'?! Hell, you've known fer months and I only figure this out two weeks ago?"

Johann stood, a hint of a smirk in his voice. "Vell, zat got him animated. Let's go?" Liz arched an eyebrow. "Do what? We don't have a plan."

Abe cleared his throat and tapped to his head. "Give me five minutes."

* * *

REVIEW DAMNIT!!

_And happy holidays, whatever they may be!_

_Kit &_ Violet


	6. Chapter 6

_Right, so this was supposed to be the last one, but I had a good idea, and so now there's....one more. _

Thanks so much for all the reviews, and check our profile....we have an important message on there, involving an anonymous review.

_**Warnings/Disclaimers: The usual**_

_BTW, I was wondering if any of you knew.....the name of Valdis's grandpa, Muerte, is a wordplay on the word muerto, which is Spanish for dead._

* * *

John sat in a small corner of his conscious, watching Raykt go about the daily BPRD business, the demon maneuvering the body from the controls under the giant screen. Raykt glanced back at him and snorted. "That's more like it. It makes things so much easier when you're not being a pain in the ass."

"Hey John, can you come here?"

Liz's voice snapped both souls back to attention. John stood and peered into the screen; Liz was walking down the hallway towards the agent, shouting something to him. Raykt flicked a switch and John was watching out of his own eyes as Raykt made his mouth grin. "What's up, Liz?"

The fire-starter smiled somewhat awkwardly. "Um, Abe needs to talk to us.....come on."

Liz led the agent down several different hallways, finally leading him into a dark room and shutting the door behind him. Raykt smirked. "What's with the dark? Are we saving energy or something?"

Suddenly, the lights were flicked on, and Raykt squinted, shielding his eyes from the sudden brightness. Liz was standing next to Hellboy, Clay and Abe, who was holding an enormous book in his hands. Raykt moved to step forward, but the air around him crackled, and he stepped back, glancing down. The demon looked up and smirked. "Cute. Let me guess, a pentacle, class three. I can't step outside the circle you've drawn or I'm fried."

Abe nodded. "Exactly." But the trapped demon's grin only grew, and the icthyo-sapien cocked his head to the side. "If you don't mind my asking, what do you find so amusing?"

In the blink of an eye, Raykt pulled out the gun John always wore under his jacket, and pressed it to his temple. "You forgot, I can still move around my pentacle. And if you step out of your protective circle to stop me, mine breaks as well and I go free."

Clay arched an eyebrow. "You're bluffing. Why would you shoot yourself? That'd be just stupid."

Raykt sneered. "Tell the fish freak to look a little closer. I'm not the only one in this body."

Abe stretched out his hand and closed his eyes. In several seconds, they snapped open and he gasped. "John!"

"Yeah, exactly. I shoot, and the only thing that happens to me is I go back to Limbo." Raykt smiled. "Now, as for your precious buddy.......well, I'm sure Abe knows exactly what'll happen."

"What the hell do you want?" Liz demanded, "Why are you doing this?!"

Raykt sighed dramatically. "Of all the typical questions. Let's see, do you mean why am I doing this _besides_ the fact I want Hellboy's head on a platter for being the human-loving traitor he is?"

"_Is_ there another reason?"

The demon glared at Clay. "Actually yes." Raykt shot a glare at Hellboy. "It's his damn fault I'm dead anyway!" For the first time, Hellboy looked up, and John winced at the hurt in his eyes. Continuing, Raykt hissed, "You know how that hell-ridden bastard Rasputin pulled you out of the Pit? Well, besides a human counterbalance, he needed a magic one. An unwilling magic balance."

Liz frowned. "Well, that wasn't his fault! He had no idea that would happen!"

"Really? Then why isn't he defending himself?"

In the meantime, John was watching anxiously—there had to be a way he could stop it. If he could get his body to touch the side of the pentacle, it would be over. Carefully, he tried to move his foot and....it worked. Raykt was too busy arguing with Abe and Clay, and John carefully inched his foot towards the chalk edge of the circle. Almost there.....

As Raykt was sneering at Liz, he suddenly noticed that Abe and Clay's eyes were focused not on him, but on his _foot_. The demon's eyes flicked down at the last possible second. "Shit."

Suddenly, a bang echoed in the room, and John blinked, staring straight into one of the lights in the ceiling. He groaned and covered his eyes and then froze. He could move—Raykt was gone! The agent jumped up and looked at Liz, Abe, Hellboy and Clay, who stood shellshocked in their circle. "You guys! It's me!"

No response.

John frowned. "You guys, it's me, really! I tricked Raykt and pushed my—his—the foot into the circle! I'm back!"

Finally, Liz pointed at his chest, her face abnormally pale. "Y-Y-Your ch-ch-chest, J-John."

The agent looked down, and realized something vital. The bang that he had heard hadn't been from the circle. It had been from the gun that had shot a bullet into his chest. John smiled faintly at the team, and then everything went black.

* * *

Hellboy stood, shocked, as John collapsed, blood pouring out of his gun wound. For a second, everything froze, and then the team burst into action. Liz and Clay ran for help, and Abe hurried over to John, feeling for a pulse. But Red stood there, frozen solid, completely out of it. Which is why he jumped a foot in the air when he heard a female voice—not Liz's—behind him.

"Oh God, John! Don't you listen to me?"

Red whirled around and pulled his Samaritan on a teenage girl in a black robe. The girl yawned, and flicked a strand of long, pitch black hair—that was supposed to be up in a ponytail—behind her shoulder, before sidestepping the demon and crossing over to John. Hellboy cocked his gun. "Look lady, don't make me shoot ya!"

The girl turned, just as Liz and Clay ran in with a few medics. She jabbed a finger at the demon, her orange eyes narrowing. "Cram it, Anung Un Rama. You're not due for a while, but I can arrange a shorter life expectancy if you don't put the gun away."

As Hellboy was about to fling an insult, Abe looked up. "Impossible. Can you be _Valdis_? The Grim Reaper?"

The girl—Valdis—sighed in relief. "Geez, thanks Abe! It's been at least......oh; well no one has ever known who I was right off the bat. Yeah, it's me."

"Where's Muerte?"

Valdis's slim eyebrows shot up, and she whistled appreciatively. "His joints started creaking—not good for those cases that insist on running and need to be snuck up on." Then she remembered the reason she was there and brushed past the icthyo-sapien, dropping on her knees. "John, you idiot; I warned you."

"Warned him about what?" Liz asked.

Valdis glanced at the fire-starter. "John heard the Raykt was out to kill Hellboy, so he tried to warn him about that." She glanced at Hellboy. "Among other things he wanted to tell the demon. So he tried contacting you through a dream; that failed. And so he tried to possess his own body, but Raykt was already here. Then....well, you can see what happened."

"So now what, Valdis? Is there anything we can do?" Clay glanced at the medics. "I'm guessing since you're here, it's too late for them."

Valdis nodded. "Yeah..." Suddenly, she stopped and began flipping through her book. "Wait, I think I can......" She stopped at a certain page, and she gasped. "Oh hell no."

Hellboy looked up. "Hell no, _what_?"

The Grim Reaper looked up, her face horribly pale. "Raykt was shot himself—on accident—while he was in John's body. And then John died. Suicidals go straight to Hell."

Liz gasped. "But it wasn't John!"

"His body, his soul was there. It still counts—and I can't do anything about it."

"I'm goin' after 'im."

Valdis looked up as Hellboy walked up to her, his grip tight on his gun. The Reaper realized what he meant and her eyes widened. "Like hell you are! Does it _look_ like I'm handing out tickets to Hell?"

"I'm goin' after John!" Hellboy roared back at the girl, "I'm fuckin' _king_ of Hell, I can do what I want!"

"Ogdru Jahad are the only kings of Hell, buddy! I don't give a damn if you're their son; there are thousands of you, and I've killed quite a few! You're not going after him, Hellboy—don't make me kill you!"

Hellboy looked up and Valdis's eyes widened in surprise at the amount of hurt in the demon's expression. "Go ahead, you'd be doin' me a favor."

Valdis sighed and brandished her scythe, ripping a glowing tear in the wall. She gestured toward it. "Gramps is going to kill me for this. It's a portal to Hell." Liz moved to step it, but Valdis stopped her. "Hellboy only; the aura will kill anyone but him, me and Muerte." Turning back to Red, she told him, "You only have two hours; after that the portal closes. You'll be stuck in Hell for good. For us, it'll be a ten minute wait.....so see you then."

Red nodded, grabbed his Samaritan and stepped through the glittering portal. Valdis started her hourglass. Abe glanced at her. "Now what?"

Valdis attempted to smile. "Now we wait."

* * *

REVIEW!!

_And for those of you wondering where Krissy is.....well, just read the next chapter. _

_Kit &_ Violet


	7. Chapter 7

_Okay, this story was way fun to write, and I'm glad to many of you liked it! Sorry Johann didn't make that much of an appearance, though._

Thanks for reviewing, and check out some of our other stories too!

_Oh, and check our profile, there's something important on them._

_**Warnings: The usual**_

_**Disclaimers: We own nothing but the plot, Valdis, Krissy, Raykt, and Muerte.**_

* * *

If anything, Hell was nothing like Hellboy imagined. The demon's jaw had dropped the minute he had stepped through the portal—it looked like he had stepped into Central Park. "Where the hell am I?"

And then, a demon the size of a semi-truck burst out of the ground and the illusion was ruined.

* * *

An hour and a half—and forty-five demons—later, Hellboy stopped and leaned against a giant red boulder. Ever since the first demon, he had seen Hell for what it really was; a red, dry, craggy, flaming......well, hellhole. And he had only a half an hour left, and still no sign of John. Well, actually, Red hadn't seen sign of anyone—and wasn't Hell supposed to be full of sinners and whatnot?

"Anyone? Anyone? Hello?"

Hellboy froze. That sounded like John! The demon rounded the corner, and there he was, wandering aimlessly. Hellboy ran up to him and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Boy Scout! Shit, I thought I'd never find ya! What're you doin' here?"

The agent grinned like an idiot. "I could ask you the same thing."

Red was about to explain everything, when another voice called out, "Hey Hellboy!"

The demon whirled, and his jaw dropped. A second John walked up to his and shot a look at his doppelganger. "What are you doing?"

Red couldn't seem to form a coherent sentence. He glanced from one John back to the other. "But—I—You—How're there—" Finally, he sucked in a deep breath and asked, "Which one of ya is the real John?"

"I am!" both exclaimed at the same time. Hellboy sighed; he had seen this kind of stuff in movies. He could just ask them some questions, and the fake would always get them right....so the one that got them wrong had to be real! The demon shook his head—what the hell kind of reasoning was that? Abe would smack him upside the head if he were here.

Suddenly, a ridiculously high-pitched yowling started from behind the second John, and he was knocked to the ground by a blue and green blur. As the thing jumped onto the man, Hellboy realized it was that small girl that had asked who he was—Kimmy or Katie or whatever her name was.....

Behind him, the first John shouted, "Krissy!"

Krissy, that was her name! As Krissy tried to kill the second John, his body flickered and faded, turning back into that demon that had gotten them into the mess in the first place. Hellboy drew his gun as Krissy jumped off of Raykt. "Don't move."

Raykt didn't seem to hear him; instead he stood up and brushed the dust off his clothes, glaring at Krissy. "Hmm, so you caught me, I suppose you're happy."

"Damn right." Hellboy cocked his gun, but John—the real one—grabbed his arm. "Red, don't. I don't like it—it was too easy."

Raykt shook his head, but his grin grew wider. "Easy? Hardly. Let him shoot, it's what he came down here for."

Grudgingly, Hellboy lowered his gun and turned to the agent. "What's up?"

"It's just too easy," John said, "There has to be a catch."

Suddenly, Raykt laughed, and both John and Hellboy pulled out their guns. "The ghost's right, there's one hell of a catch." Raykt smirked. "You know how Rasputin need a magic balance? Well in case his plan failed, and the human balance died—which it totally would—then the magic balance would be the portal. You shoot me, I die, the Ogdru Jahad are unleashed on the entire world."

Red growled. "Damnit. Of all the sneaky little....."

Suddenly, there was a rather loud bang, and Raykt fell, blood spurting out a bullet hole in his chest. Hellboy whirled on John, who was putting his gun away. "What the hell, Boy Scout!"

John shrugged and picked up Krissy, who wrapped her arms around the agent's neck and hung on tight. "He was bluffing, Red. He's in Hell—therefore already dead. If the Ogdru Jahad hasn't been unleashed on Earth already, then it won't happen anytime soon."

Krissy nodded. "Jauntymuyers is right. That meanie is bluffin'. Krissy knew alalong."

Hellboy stopped dead in his tracks. "Jauntymuyers....John T Myers! Damnit, how'd I miss that?"

John and Krissy exchanged looks and laughed. Suddenly, Krissy stopped and turned to Hellboy. "Krissy' got somethin' to tells you. Jauntymuyers told Krissy to tells Hellboy, and you're Hellboy, right?"

The demon grinned and ruffled the Limban's hair. "I thought ya already told me."

Krissy shook her head, her pigtails dangling. "Nuh-uh!"

"Fine. Whadya wanna tell me?"

The little girl grinned, showcasing her many, many teeth. "John likes Hellboy!" Before John could protest, Krissy jumped out of his arms and skipped ahead of them, hollering the same thing over and over again. The agent stopped in his tracks and turned scarlet.

Hellboy turned to face the agent. "'S that true?"

John wouldn't meet the demon's gaze, and laughed nervously. "Yeah....."

Suddenly, Red looked away. "But you said—"

"That wasn't me!" the agent protested, "That was Raykt! I had no control over what he said! "

A quick glance to make sure that Krissy was far enough ahead that she wouldn't see them; Hellboy pushed John behind a rock and kissed him hard. John gasped in surprise, and Hellboy took advantage of the agent's shock to explore his mouth, their tongues fighting for dominance. Finally, air became a necessity, and John panted as the demon pulled away. "Well, um.....wow."

"Yes, wow indeed. That's almost as interesting as the excuse that you two are going to give me for being down here."

John jumped and Hellboy whirled around, his Samaritan pointed at an old man in a black robe. The little bit of hair that the man had left was pitch black, and his sunken eyeballs had bright orange irises. John gestured for Hellboy to put the gun down. "Relax Red, I think this is Muerte."

The old man's eyes widened for a moment, but then his gruff expression was back. "Yeah, I am. How did you know that?"

"Well, I know your granddaughter." John searched for something that could remind the ex-Reaper of who he was. "I'm the Myers case."

Muerte nodded. "Oh you. Sorry business, that, but it can't be helped—suicidals go to Hell. That's the rules." He turned to look at Hellboy. "Who are you?"

Hellboy growled. "I'm the guy who's pullin' John outta this hellhole!"

"Says who?"

Before Hellboy could retort, John cut in. "Look Mr. Muerte...sir, Valdis gave Hellboy a portal to Hell, and it'll close in a little while."

Muerte's jaw dropped and he started muttering to himself—grumbling at Valdis, John guessed. The ex-Reaper snapped his fingers and a portal appeared, and then turned to John, Hellboy and Krissy, who had latched onto John's back. "Come on, you three. My granddaughter had absolutely no right to allow extraction from Hell, let alone letting a ghost possessing someone to come to Earth."

"So why are we comin'?" Hellboy asked, but John elbowed him in the ribs.

Muerte turned around. "What?"

"Eh, nothin'."

* * *

Valdis nervously watched the clock as she heard Abe explaining the situation to another agent that had just appeared, Johann Something-Or-Other. The man in the metal suit. Johann nodded and turned to her, asking, "Vell, how much time to zey have left?"

The Reaper sighed as the second hand ticked past the twelve-mark. "None. The ten minutes are up."

Liz gasped, and Johann demanded, "Is zere anysing ve can do to get zem back?"

Valdis started to answer, but a loud voice cut her off. "Valdis Reaper! What were you thinking?!"

Clay jumped as an old man—wearing the same black robe as Valdis—stepped out from behind him, along with Hellboy, John, and a strange blue girl. The old man marched up to Valdis, a surprising strength in his limbs, and pointed back to Hellboy and John, speaking in a strange language. Liz and Clay turned to Abe. "Who is that?" Liz asked.

"That's Muerte," Abe told them, "Valdis's grandfather."

"He doesn't look too happy," Clay noted.

"Shut up, Gramps!" Valdis suddenly hollered at the old man, "What the hell else was I supposed to do? I had to send John down—if Raykt killed Hellboy, the demons of Hell would demand repercussions! That idiot Rasputin and his messed-up whore would be petitioning us to no end! Can you imagine how much paperwork that would mean?"

Muerte folded his arms over his chest. "That would be your problem."

Valdis smirked. "Actually, I'm technically only filling in for you—you're still the Grim Reaper."

"I could transfer the responsibility to you."

"It would have to go to Mom or Pops first."

Muerte snapped his fingers in frustration. "Damn your parents—it's just like them to be Reapers in a different dimension." Sighing in defeat, Muerte turned and pointed a finger at John. "But that doesn't mean he can stay!"

Hellboy growled and reached for his gun. "Why the hell not?"

The old man frowned. "Because he's dead, Anung Un Rama. That body is just possessed—it took all of Raykt's power to keep it from rotting and falling apart, and John has no power to speak of. I'm surprised it's still intact, actually." Muerte shrugged. "I'm sorry, but John has to go back to Limbo."

"Not exactly!" Valdis grinned. "Gramps, he's just another one of those 'wrong time, wrong place' kinda guys. Are you sure we can't.....just this once?"

"Absolutely not!" he gestured to Krissy, who hissed. "We're already letting her stay—but that's only because Limbo will be better off without her bothering the citizens!"

Valdis shrugged. "Fine. If you really want Hellboy marching down to your offices and causing hell," the Reaper winked at the demon, "You know, _breaking_ things, scattering _important_ paperwork...." she glanced at Liz, "Even burning things......but hey, if you're up for it, have fun, Mr. Grim Reaper."

Muerte put his hands up in surrender. "Fine, _fine_, John stays." He shot a glare at his beaming granddaughter.

Suddenly, John yelped as Hellboy hauled him over his shoulder and turned, heading for his room. John grinned like an idiot as he realized what was going to happen. "And on that note," Hellboy hollered over his shoulder, "John's gone!"

Abe, Liz, Johann, Clay, Krissy and the two Reapers watched the duo disappear, and then Abe turned to Valdis and Muerte. "Would you like some tea?"

* * *

I liked the ending!

_Thanks Vi. Sorry, no lemon guys....I'm really writer-blocked. But I'm glad you enjoyed the story!_

_Kit &_ Violet


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